During the holidays, there can be a lot of pressure to feel like celebrating. But the death of a loved one can also bring up feelings like worry, loneliness and confusion. That’s okay, too. So try to be gentle with yourself, even if that means both the joy of the holidays and the pain of your loved one’s absence.

After someone you care about dies, it can be hard to decide what to about holidays. Should you continue holiday traditions or sit this year out? Will being with other people help you feel support, or do you need alone time to rest and heal? There’s no right or wrong answer. What’s important is having a plan so you don’t get caught off guard.

Sometimes creating a new tradition to honor your loved one feels just right. Try a ritual like lighting a candle, displaying a special ornament, or sharing stories. Other times, giving yourself permission to leave an event early or limit your holiday plans can lessen feelings of overwhelm.

Reaching out to family, friends and acquaintances might be a little scary. Doing so can help you figure out how to make holidays or special events meaningful and bearable. And investing time and energy in relationships may help strengthen them for the future.

Just remember, others also may be grieving or have their own ideas. So talk things out and be ready to compromise. That way, you can support one another during this difficult time.